Life shaking things

        Imagine this, your in the bathroom putting your makeup on and getting ready for the day (yes that's when I have some of my best thinking time, because it's quite) anyhow your putting your makeup on-getting ready thinking about life and everything that's happened. When out of no where a life shaking, heart wrenching  thought pops into your head.
       This happened while thinking about my brother and my mom. Recently my mom was diagnosed with cancer but also my brother has given his life to Jesus. I pray for them both so often and they are always on my mind. Also my baby boy has had a minor brain surgery and was hit hard with some other health issues. And as I'm thinking about them I have such a life shaking thought -Would you give your sons life to see your brother make heaven his home? My first inclination was to rebuke the devil out of my thoughts but them something bigger happened. I allowed myself to think about this. Now I'm not going to say that it was from God. I don't just put a "God" label on things. But I am going to say that it was such a profound thought. I mean what if I had to choose. What if to see my brother make Heaven his home I would need to lay my sons life on the alter like Abraham did with Isaac. It's such a hard thing to think about. Honestly I couldn't say that I would have enough Faith to do so. I would like to think that because my son is a baby, he would automatically make heaven his home. But my brother who is so uncertain about salvation and wavers so badly in his Faith could see all that my mom has went through with her cancer diagnosis and Robert and I have gone through with Liam. If maybe the reason for them being sick is so that my brother can see us standing like a solid rock because of Jesus- would it all be worth it? Even if I had to give up somebody that I loved with such a fierce love that it hurts to think about. I'm not claiming that God has called  me to this. I'm just simply saying that maybe we do need to lay our own children on an alter for God to do what he needs to do in the lives of people that we are praying for. God is such a good God and he reigns no matter what.